Lauren's Family Blog

  This week we talked about children. Children have needs, just like everyone does. One of those needs includes contact belonging. Not all families are super touchy, but all children need some form of contact. Children also need undue attention. They seek attention constantly, and it can be harmful if they do not get any. Children who lack attention begin to starve for it and will do anything to get it, even if the response is negative. As a parent, offer contact freely. It might get difficult as children get older and do not want that contact, but it will do more good than bad. When I was in high school my dad would always give me hugs every single day and I would always say “Noooo Dad stop,” but looking back I am so glad he did that and it really showed he cares about me. Other mistaken approaches children have are rebellion and controlling others. An example of rebellion in contact is my dad and I growing up when he would give me hugs and I would complain and say I don’t want on...

  This week we talked about a couple of things. A lot of it had to do with today’s society. Brother Williams talked about how while he was a counselor he talked to couples and there were actually a lot of couples who struggled because the woman would come to him and say, “I just feel like my husband is not providing for us, and he doesn’t want to.” Just years ago, it was pretty set in stone that the man is the provider and the woman stays home with the children. Society has changed over time to where a woman can provide and a man can take care of children, or maybe both partners want to provide. I think many conflicts can develop because of this. Nowadays, if a woman wants to have a child it is usually just one. More and more women are wanting to focus on their careers, but this can be dangerous because less people are wanting to stay at home with children. Children are being taken to daycare more often than being with a parent. It is so important as a parent that you make sure to ...

  This week we talked about empathy and emotions. It is so important that we take each other's feelings seriously. Women tend to focus on emotions more than men, but that does not mean that men have less emotions than women. Empathy is so important in a marriage. The Disarming Technique is a way to show empathy toward your partner. It’s when you find truth in what the other person is saying, even if it seems totally unreasonable or fair. Try putting yourself in their shoes and see through their eyes. Another important aspect of empathy is inquiry. To do this, try to ask gentle, probing questions to learn more about what the other person is thinking. It’s just as important to share your own feelings as it is to understand your spouse’s feelings. Try using “I feel” statements such as “I feel sad when this situation happens because…” When there is a situation and you are expressing how you feel, the sentence should always start with “I,” and not “you.” When you are upset and start wit...

  This week we talked a lot about stress. Stress is something that we all deal with. Some people stress less than others, and some people who have anxiety seem to stress all the time. Since everyone has this emotion, it can have an impact on a marriage. There are a lot of stressful things in marriage such as planning a wedding, finding a place to live, having children, finances, etc. I have anxiety so I tend to be stressed a lot more than my husband does. I find myself freaking out about things even when I don’t know what I am stressed about. It’s important that we know what to do when we find ourselves in stressful situations, and how to comfort your spouse when they are stressed.  One thing that was really stressful for my husband and I was finding housing in Rexburg. So many people get married at BYU-Idaho, so housing is tricky. We thought we would get ahead of the game and look a whole year in advance. We got on as many waiting lists as we could and waited to hear back for...

This week we talked about intimacy. Intimacy is so important in a marriage. A marriage must include an emotional and physical relationship. It’s important to keep your physical relationship healthy. Our whole lives we’ve been taught to stay away from being intimate in a sexual way with another person before marriage. The moment we are married, everything becomes available. This is a scary feeling. I also know of some couples that struggle with it when they get married because they’ve been told it is bad their whole lives, so they feel guilty after marriage even though there is nothing wrong with it. Although it can be overwhelming, it’s a sacred thing. I love how the scriptures talk about intimacy and sexual intercourse. It is so different from the world’s view. Worldly standards have turned it into a casual thing that everyone does. That takes the seriousness and feeling of being special away. God meant for sex to be between a married man and woman. The world has also altered this. In...

  I couldn’t decide on just one of the topics we discussed in class this week. We talked about the details of planning a wedding, relationship changes with friends of the opposite sex, and things you experience at the first stages of a marriage. I felt a strong connection with each of these topics. Planning a wedding is so fun and exciting, but also comes with a lot of decisions to make which can often be stressful. The average cost of a wedding is $28,000. My husband and I spent $6,000. I had no idea that weddings cost much more, I thought 6,000 was a lot. I loved how our wedding turned out. We bought a fairly cheap wedding dress, but it was the only one I wanted. We made pasta and bread for the luncheon, and we had a reception in a church building. We made our own cake and did not serve dinner at the reception. My husband’s mom did all the flowers and made me a flower crown. A lot of people probably thought it was a very simple wedding. I loved it because I was never picky about ...