Week 11- Children and Parenting

 This week we talked about children. Children have needs, just like everyone does. One of those needs includes contact belonging. Not all families are super touchy, but all children need some form of contact. Children also need undue attention. They seek attention constantly, and it can be harmful if they do not get any. Children who lack attention begin to starve for it and will do anything to get it, even if the response is negative. As a parent, offer contact freely. It might get difficult as children get older and do not want that contact, but it will do more good than bad. When I was in high school my dad would always give me hugs every single day and I would always say “Noooo Dad stop,” but looking back I am so glad he did that and it really showed he cares about me. Other mistaken approaches children have are rebellion and controlling others. An example of rebellion in contact is my dad and I growing up when he would give me hugs and I would complain and say I don’t want one, when really, even back then, they made me feel safe. Children also enjoy being in charge of something and controlling the situation. As a parent it is important to combine choices and consequences to develop responsible activity for your children. Choices without consequence can cause children to feel they can do whatever they want and there will be no repercussions, not a great way to parent. On the other hand, if you never let your children make their own choices to avoid consequences then it is harmful to their development. It is also crucial to teach your children assertiveness and forgiveness. There is a difference between assertiveness and pure aggression. Getting angry at your child and yelling at them is pure aggression. It is okay to assert your dominance as a parent. A lot of children these days do not have much respect for authority. My mom is a teacher and she will get after kids for misbehaving and they truly do not care. I remember as a kid if I got told to stop talking my whole face would go red and I was embarrassed. Nowadays, many children do not have any respect for adults. They see themselves on the same level, or above their teachers and parents. A lot of teachers in elementary education are quitting their career because they can not take it anymore. Some children are just difficult, but a lot has to do with parenting. It is the parent’s responsibility to raise their children to respect others, and some parents just drop their kids off at school without teaching them, and make it the school’s problem. This scares me personally, because I am planning on becoming a teacher. I am going to make it a personal goal to teach children how to respect other people. Another child mistaken approach that children have is risk taking. The reason children do this is because they feel the need for challenges. As a parent, the way that you deal with this is encouraging skill building. Put them in sports! Find out what they enjoy. Some parents decide for their children what their skills are going to be, and so they put their kids into programs that the parents want, but the child does not necessarily want to do. That is why it is important to find out their interests, rather than your own as a parent. Your child is not going to be exactly like you, and not all of your children are going to like the same things.