Week 6- Weddings, Friends, and Newlyweds

 I couldn’t decide on just one of the topics we discussed in class this week. We talked about the details of planning a wedding, relationship changes with friends of the opposite sex, and things you experience at the first stages of a marriage. I felt a strong connection with each of these topics.

Planning a wedding is so fun and exciting, but also comes with a lot of decisions to make which can often be stressful. The average cost of a wedding is $28,000. My husband and I spent $6,000. I had no idea that weddings cost much more, I thought 6,000 was a lot. I loved how our wedding turned out. We bought a fairly cheap wedding dress, but it was the only one I wanted. We made pasta and bread for the luncheon, and we had a reception in a church building. We made our own cake and did not serve dinner at the reception. My husband’s mom did all the flowers and made me a flower crown. A lot of people probably thought it was a very simple wedding. I loved it because I was never picky about a wedding. A lot of girls plan their wedding when they’re 14, but I never even thought about it until I had to plan it. I had so many times when people would ask me “What color do you want the flowers?” “What shade of white?” I personally thought there was only one shade of white, and I quickly found I was mistaken when they showed me many many different options. I hated making the decisions because I just didn’t care as much as they wanted me to. I wanted my mom to pick everything for me because I didn’t want to have to choose every little detail that I didn’t really care about. I just kept saying “Whatever you think is best!” I think it is so special that my husband and I were able to keep the focus of the wedding. It was not all about the decorations or which dress I wear, it was all about getting to be together for all eternity, and that is what I was so excited about. 

As soon as you get married, there are certain discussions you need to have with your spouse, and other people. When you have friends of the opposite sex, it might affect your spouse negatively depending on how you handle that friendship. I had a guy friend who texted me after my spouse and I were married saying congratulations and continuing small talk. I saw nothing wrong, but I could tell my husband was upset. He is very patient so sometimes he doesn’t tell me when something is bothering him. I ended up texting my guy friend explaining that I can’t be texting him like we usually did. He got his feelings hurt, but I knew that I would rather hurt his feelings than my spouse’s feelings. Sometimes we have to change those relationships in order to protect marriage. 

In the first year of marriage, there is so much you learn. I have 4 sisters, so learning to live with a boy was a big change. There were boy clothes in our room, and there was boy deodorant in my bathroom, it was so foreign to me. Conflict is inevitable in the first year. Conflict doesn’t mean that you fight. Conflict can just mean disagreement, and it’s perfectly normal. My husband and I's first home was an RV. When you have a conflict in an RV you can go into another room and have alone time. There is only ONE room. It’s the kitchen/living room/bedroom/hallway. Lucky for me, my husband rarely gets mad. He is very patient, kind, an introvert, who is very chill. I on the other hand can be a roller coaster of emotions. One moment I can be having the best day ever, and then five minutes later it’s the worst day ever, and vice versa. During our time in the RV, I had to learn how to control my emotions because we were always within 20 feet of each other unless I went into the woods, which was way too scary. We both grew a lot that summer. He learned how to comfort me when I am having strong feelings. He learned how to cheer me up and make me think it was the best day ever again. I learned how to control my feelings and not let something that happened in my day affect him in a negative way the way it was affecting me. Marriage is work, but the joy outweighs the difficulty easily. My husband and I have an unbreakable bond and we make each other better people. The reason we are so strong today is because of the struggles we went through, and continue to go through.