Lauren's Family Blog

  This week we talked about divorce. 70% of people regret divorce and wished they could have repaired their marriage. The most common reason people get divorced is because it was not “as fun as they thought it would be.” People set unrealistic expectations for marriage and think it is a fairy tale and they live happily ever after. Marriage takes a lot of work and people do not realize that. There are lots of happy times, but there are also hard times. Some couples get married and are not prepared for those times. When life gets tough they can sometimes turn against each other and freak out and it can end their marriage. Some people also think that when something goes wrong that it is because they married the ‘wrong person.’ I believe that it is not all about the right or wrong person, it is about how you handle marriage and putting work into it. Before you marry someone, you should see them when they are dealing with frustration. It can be dangerous when you marry someone without s...

  This week we talked about children. Children have needs, just like everyone does. One of those needs includes contact belonging. Not all families are super touchy, but all children need some form of contact. Children also need undue attention. They seek attention constantly, and it can be harmful if they do not get any. Children who lack attention begin to starve for it and will do anything to get it, even if the response is negative. As a parent, offer contact freely. It might get difficult as children get older and do not want that contact, but it will do more good than bad. When I was in high school my dad would always give me hugs every single day and I would always say “Noooo Dad stop,” but looking back I am so glad he did that and it really showed he cares about me. Other mistaken approaches children have are rebellion and controlling others. An example of rebellion in contact is my dad and I growing up when he would give me hugs and I would complain and say I don’t want on...

  This week we talked about a couple of things. A lot of it had to do with today’s society. Brother Williams talked about how while he was a counselor he talked to couples and there were actually a lot of couples who struggled because the woman would come to him and say, “I just feel like my husband is not providing for us, and he doesn’t want to.” Just years ago, it was pretty set in stone that the man is the provider and the woman stays home with the children. Society has changed over time to where a woman can provide and a man can take care of children, or maybe both partners want to provide. I think many conflicts can develop because of this. Nowadays, if a woman wants to have a child it is usually just one. More and more women are wanting to focus on their careers, but this can be dangerous because less people are wanting to stay at home with children. Children are being taken to daycare more often than being with a parent. It is so important as a parent that you make sure to ...

  This week we talked about empathy and emotions. It is so important that we take each other's feelings seriously. Women tend to focus on emotions more than men, but that does not mean that men have less emotions than women. Empathy is so important in a marriage. The Disarming Technique is a way to show empathy toward your partner. It’s when you find truth in what the other person is saying, even if it seems totally unreasonable or fair. Try putting yourself in their shoes and see through their eyes. Another important aspect of empathy is inquiry. To do this, try to ask gentle, probing questions to learn more about what the other person is thinking. It’s just as important to share your own feelings as it is to understand your spouse’s feelings. Try using “I feel” statements such as “I feel sad when this situation happens because…” When there is a situation and you are expressing how you feel, the sentence should always start with “I,” and not “you.” When you are upset and start wit...